How am I not just vomiting constantly?

I couldn’t think of anything super cool to tell you guys this week, so here’s a list of stupid shit that grosses me out.

1. Library books. I can’t touch them because I can feel the grime and then I have to wash my hands right away and then no reading gets done.

2. Indoor plants. I can’t sleep in a room that has a plant next to the bed. I feel like I might accidentally get a dead leaf in my mouth. Ditto for eating at a table with flowers on it. Too much nature involved for breakfast.

3. The smell of flowers. I don’t know what that’s all about, but flower smells just give me a vague nauseated feeling.

4. Snoring. It makes me think of snot.

5. I can’t stand to look at scrambled eggs, particularly if they’re lukewarm.

6.The smell of plain or vanilla yogurt makes me gag.

7. Feeling body heat on any surface. Like a toilet seat or an office chair.

8. Ears. I clean mine about three times a day, and clean my fiance’s whenever he will let me.

9. Wet jeans. I would rather wander around half naked than let wet denim touch my skin.

10. Wet paper. I hate how it disintegrates.

11. Hearing my fiance eat. I think hearing people eat is probably a common thing that makes people sick, but it only seems to bother me when I can hear Peter. Especially if he is eating Easy Mac.

12. Touching cotton balls. I feel like I want to scratch all the skin off my hands after.

13. Hearing anything about veins or organs or blood. I feel the need to violently shake out my whole body when this happens.

14. When I was younger, the thought of breathing the same air I had just breathed seriously skeeved me out. Having to put my head down on a desk in elementary school was torture.

15. Butterflies and moths being near any food. They have dust on their wings, and I think it could maybe come off from all the wing flapping.

16. Food touching on a plate. Particularly if  there are juices/sauces involved.

17. The smell of cantaloupe (rock melon for you crazy Australians). It always smells spoiled to me.

18. Hearing people breathe. Another thing that makes me think of snot.

19. Banana peels. They feel weird, smell awful, and have a creepy texture.

20. Malt-o-meal. The surface of it has reminded me of lizard scales ever since I ate it while watching an episode of Bill Nye about dinosaurs. It still tastes delicious though, so I just eat it without looking.

Smearing green goo on my face doesn’t gross me out though. Mostly it makes me feel like a dinosaur.

This is the saddest version of my raptor claw I ever did see.

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12 comments on “How am I not just vomiting constantly?

  1. 3kalb says:

    I enjoy this list. I can definitely relate to a few, mostly the yogurt one. I had the same issue about the same air when I was younger, even today a little, especially someone elses expelled air. Sometimes hearing people eat their food makes me want to stop eating mine and super self conscious wondering if I sound awful eating.

    • sicklyjoye says:

      I’m glad you enjoyed it! When I was much younger, probably about 7, I thought that you would die from breathing old air, because we has just learned about carbon monoxide/dioxide, and I got mixed up. Thanks for reading.

      • 3kalb says:

        lol ya! I remember learning about that and being scared too! Just like when we learned about germs, I basically wanted to put myself in a bubble, scared of everything around me

  2. chellesh0ck says:

    Haha this is great. Regarding # 8, do you ever find that sticking in the q-tip makes you cough? Can I add one to the list? the idea of teeth scraping across a fork, and the sound of it too. UGH I HAVE GOOSEBUMPS THINKING ABOUT IT!!!
    Also, I like doing face masks too, and I’m real into your right hand in this picture. Peter does eat noisily, as does Nick. When I’m watching TV with them I just wanna go up to them and chew crisps in their ears when they are watching TV and scream “ANNOYING ISN’T IT!!??”

    • sicklyjoye says:

      YES! And, if I have an itch in my throat, I sometimes try to cure it but putting a q-tip in my ear.
      That’s my raptor claw! It’s on of my “go-to” photo poses.
      Peter is the only person I have ever met that could make noises eating PIZZA. It’s not even crunchy!

  3. chellesh0ck says:

    Haha loved your “go-to” pose… I used to have some but not really anymore, haha

  4. Hayley says:

    plastic shopping bags (like Walmart bags) make me wanna puke more than anything ever. My parents used to bring them on car trips bc I was carsick so I have the connection in my brain. Also- Bryan hocks spit/loogies constantly and it makes me want to die. I literally had to pull over the car the other night bc he spit out the window and I thought I was going to blow chunks

  5. Mark says:

    Hahaha, Peter eating grosses me out too. Although its usually whenever he eats subway, or really anything sauce-y. The sound of saliva and whatever he’s eating swirling around his mouth seriously makes my skin crawl.

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