I have some good news…

If you are feeling hyper today, that does not mean that you “are ADD.”

If you are feeling moody today, that does not mean that you are bipolar.

If you are organized, that does not mean that you “are OCD.”

Saying that you “are so OCD about your CD collection” doesn’t make any sense, and neither does saying that you “are ADD.” You are not Obsessive Compulsive Disorder about something, and you are not Attention Deficit Disorder about something. Disorders are things that you have. Saying that someone “is OCD” about something, because they alphabetize their books or something,  is insulting. The same thing applies to saying you “are ADD” because you are feeling distracted today, and so on. While those things may be symptoms or components of what characterizes a person with a particular disorder, they by no means are enough on their own to warrant a diagnosis.

Look at my color coded sticky notes! I clearly have a debilitating mental disorder!

People with mental illness can’t just have it one day and then not have it the next. Their lives are not just effected in small, insignificant ways. They can’t choose to turn their symptoms on and off. To truly be diagnosed with a disorder, it must interfere with a person’s every day life. Minimizing the struggle that so many people go through, in order to seem quirky or deep or whatever, is not okay. You wouldn’t tell someone that you “are TB” today because you had a bit of cough, so why reference equally serious illnesses in such an asinine manner?

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This post is probably only really interesting to me

Today I discovered Google Patents, which I would imagine is pretty self explanatory, as it is a Google search engine for patents only. I was just messing around and found some really cool patents related to books, so I thought I’d share 7 of my favorites.

1. Books as Art by Michael Howard.

This is my very favorite, especially because the inventor thought to make the book removable and the mechanism reusable, so that you could still read the books. If I had to destroy a book to display it with this, that would have been a deal breaker for me. I also really like that the inventor had in mind trying to inspire more people to read, based on them being enticed by the front cover.

I WANT books on my fridge.

2. Adjustable book shelf by Shu-Chen Wu

Reading the patent on this is pretty confusing, but the drawings enlightened me somewhat.

At first I thought the weights were wind chimes and I was even MORE confused.

Basically, I think the idea is to be able to stick any size book anywhere on the book shelf, and have it stay in place. No need for bookends. It also has a handy dandy pocket, a pencil sharpener, and a number of  “insertion holes” (tee-hee) to store pencils and things. I love me some multi-functionality.

3.Electronic Testing Device for use with educational books by Burton Culter

This would be super handy for when I’m a teacher. All my tests would be open book, and I could just let the testing device track the scores. No grading for me! Bonus points because it can be used in multiple books.

This little device is going to end up replacing my job someday.

4. System for enhancing books with special paper by Leo Blume

This one is super cool and futuristic. It makes books interactive! There are, of course, program on the computer than can do this, and also ereaders, but the cool thing is that this would be integrated into a normal book. That’s a huge plus for people like me that love the feel and presence of a real book rather than a book simulation. You can use a special pen to have the book display itself as video, or as audio. The inventor points out that this system could be helpful for children learning to read, foreign language speakers or the visually impaired. I agree, but personally, I like this because it would save me from that awkward moment when you try to pronounce a word you’ve only previously read. Like that first time I tried to use the word macabre.

 

5. Metal covered books by Walter H. Herman

I honestly am just impressed with the amount of thought the author put into the ways in which metal books open and close. I have never actually seen a book with a metal cover, so I’ll have to take his word for it. My first thought was that metal covers would make books WAY more durable, but also WAY more expensive, and also more likely to be used as a murder weapon.  Carrying one around in my purse would probably count as weight training.

I can only imagine this idea was born in a fit of rage and frustration with “traditional” metal books

 

6.Interactive probe system for games and books by Jack Star et al.

I’m going to be honest. I only clicked on this link because of the phrase “interactive probe.” However, it turned out to actually be pretty rad. Basically, just an invention to turn games and books into even cooler games and books, that respond to operator actions. I’m all about that.

 

7. Indexable vertical bookcase for oversize books by Beatrice E. Martinez.

This one is just good sense. A bookcase to store big books that won’t otherwise fit on a standard bookcase. Plus, it’s the only woman inventor on the list. I also appreciate the fact that she made the bookcase indexable. It appeals to the organizer in me.

Because Revenge Sells

Recently, I was watching a bit of TV when a commercial for Crest whitening strips came on. Now, I’ve scoured the whole internet, and I can’t seem to find the specific commercial in question, but I did find some other examples of Crest’s misguided marketing campaign.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never once been confused about who someone was after they brushed their teeth. The fact that whiter teeth are supposed to make this woman look completely different is ridiculous. If that were really the case, it would be downright irresponsible to alter her appearance so much right before going on a major trip that requires a photo ID. For that matter, criminals and people in the witness protection program could just go pick up some Crest products and all their problems would be solved. Actually, thinking about that, there could be some really awkward run ins on the toothpaste aisle.

This is especially true when the person in your way murdered your whole family.

Anyway, now that you’ve had a little taste of the logic behind a Crest commercial, I’d like to discuss the original one. I didn’t pay any attention to it, because at first it was just another ad for bleach to put in your mouth. Then, at the end, the last line made me perk up and listen. Right at the end of this commercial, a woman says, “You won’t just be the ex, you’ll be the one that got away.” Number one, I have never heard someone say, “Man, what was I thinking letting Sally go? I mean, have you seen her teeth?!” Another ridiculous overstatement about the importance of white teeth.

Secondly, if how a person looks is the main thing that you miss about them, either they were an awful human being and you shouldn’t miss them, or you are a douche rocket and shouldn’t be dating until you realize how little appearance matters. If you see your ex and their suddenly whiter teeth make you want them again, there is something wrong with you.

Lastly, the big thing that caught my attention was the use of revenge as a selling point. Wanting to make your ex want you and then rejecting them is something probably a lot of people might think about, but honestly, that’s a really shitty way to think. Just because things did not work between you and that person shouldn’t mean that you wish for your ex to be unhappy and pining for you forever.

I don’t know if these products actually work, as I don’t see the need to use them, but I’ve heard they cause hurty teeth and gums for DAYS. If that wasn’t enough of a deterrent from me using them, these ads and their perpetuation of negative thought patterns certainly would be.

Real Women

I thought that people were over these things, but recently I saw quite a few people post them on Facebook again, and felt my blood boil. What I am referring to is images like these:

Additionally, this is a question, and should therefore end in a question mark and not a period. Bad grammar AND bad logic.

Protip: Wherever she lets you.

You get the idea. I’m not sure what these images were trying to achieve. I suspect they were intended to be body positive, and were an attempt to be subversive that went awry. At least, I hope that is what they were trying to do, because the alternative, that of trying to make thin girls feel badly about themselves, is intolerable.

Images like these and statements like, “Real women have curves!” are harmful. The last time I checked, the only qualifications for being a “real woman” were to have xx chromosomes, a vagina and/or identify as a woman. Putting one body type over another will always be wrong. This is not to say that having a personal preference is wrong. People are attracted to all sorts of different things. Saying that the way one person looks is inherently better than the way another looks is wrong though. It is a dangerous, hurtful viewpoint, and it has become very popular recently. Disguising it as another body type does not help.

If the tables were turned, and the images were talking about how thin women are the ideal type of women and that they are more attractive than other shapes of women, people would be up in arms. They would be discussing social constructs and media ideals and eating disorders. Those same things all apply to the images above. We cannot idolize any one shape if we want everyone to love themselves, because it is not realistic for everyone to be the same shape.

And that’s awesome, y’all.