An Unholy Alliance

Today I had the thought that Cosmopolitan and Sex and the City must be in cahoots.

I can’t prove it, but they perpetuate the same kinds of ideas and ridiculous expectations. In order to point out specifics, I forced myself to watch the Sex and the City movie. 

First off, do these women ever do anything but shop, talk about sex, or have sex? This goes right along with Cosmo’s super helpful sex “tips” and shopping guides, and hints on how to trap a man.

The women in Sex and the City seem to all wear the same bright colors that Cosmo uses on its cover, and Carrie’s friends are horrified when she wants to wear a simple, non-designer wedding dress. Of course, her mind is changed instantly once she sees some crazy designer dress, and ends up going to her wedding with a bird in her hair.

Within the first five minutes of the movie, Carrie allows her boyfriend to buy her an insanely expensive apartment and then immediately tries to use that fact to make her friends jealous. None of the women ever seem to work. They mention jobs, and yet they seem to have all the time in the world for shopping, going out to eat and Mexican vacations. I don’t know about the rest of y’all, but I only work 40 hours a week, and I still don’t have time for any of those things, not to mention the cash.

One of the most ridiculous things I noticed in the movie wasn’t at all important to the plot of the movie, but Carrie wears a string of pearls, always. In bed, lounging around the house in her pajamas, just…always. I thought it might be some significant thing that I just didn’t understand because I don’t watch the show, but after doing some Googling, I still can’t find a satisfactory answer for why this woman sleeps with a pearl necklace on. I would strangle myself. I can’t even sleep with headphones in. 

Later on, one of the girls starts eating to avoid cheating. (Don’t even get me started on the thought process there.) She hasn’t seen her friends in a while, and when she shows up, she has the tiniest little bit of fat on her tummy. That is the first thing everyone notices about her, and then they proceed to discuss, at length, how she could have possibly let herself get that way. The woman is still probably thinner than I am, and I certainly don’t consider myself fat. The fact that she has let herself gain weight is what prompts her to the realization that she is unhappy with her boyfriend. I really don’t understand the logic, and it makes me wonder what the writers of this bullshit would think about me.  

The end of the movie reveals that love is all you need. The main character, that has spent the majority of the movie getting over breaking up with the man she intended to marry, sees him and without any discussion about the break up, rushes into his arms and we are led to believe they live happily ever after. This movie is about love just as much as Schindler’s List is about working in a factory. 

Media like Sex and the City and Cosmo do not allow the women who buy into such things to have normal, functional relationships. There always has to be some kind of drama, and women think that they need to trick men into liking them, trap them into marriage, and then train them to be what they want. The solution to any problem is a shopping trip, and sex is all about how many clever ways you incorporate foreign objects into the activities. 

I watched the Sex and the City movie on a channel called Cloo. It is a crime and mystery channel. This puzzled me at first, but they’re right. The fact that this movie was a success is a mystery to me as well. 



6 comments on “An Unholy Alliance

  1. chellesh0ck says:

    Carrie wears a pearl necklace to signify that she is something to be objectified, to the same extent as porn girls, who get given pearl necklaces (that is, guys shooting off on their chests). Thats the only explanation that I can think of?
    Also, the bit about Samatha gaining like 5kg drove me up the wall …. they would hate me I’m sure! Sends a terrible message to chicks eh?

    • emmyjoye says:

      Your interpretation of the necklace is brilliant. I’m sure the writers didn’t intend that, but it’s perfect. I just can’t get over the fact that they have no explanation for it, like it’s totally normal for a woman to wear something like that constantly.

      • chellesh0ck says:

        Yeah, but I don’t think those writers have any understanding of what is/is not “nromal”, lmao.

  2. chellesh0ck says:

    PS Man it’s gold to be able to finally comment on your posts. That is all.

  3. SynthesistChronicles says:

    I agree with your commentary about Sex and the City. It pushes a ridiculous stereotype of women that perpetuates a view of women that is very diminishing. I highly recommend reading this for a good laugh about Cosmo’s ridiculous sex tips: It is hysterical.

    By the way, I’m also a member of The Bloggess’s book club on GoodReads. It’s great to “meet” a fellow fan. I look forward to reading more of you blog. 🙂

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