Today I learned about chicken eyeglasses.
|And you can take him to see a 3D movie!
Apparently, people used to put rose colored goggles on their chickens, so that they wouldn’t be able to recognize blood if they saw it on one another, as that would trigger an attack instinct. There are several things about this that make me insanely happy.
1. At some point, somewhere, putting spectacles on a chicken was seen as an ingenious invention.
2. Someone cared enough to protect their poor little feathered friends from a mass flock attack. I know it was probably only done for monetary reasons, you know, saving your livestock and all that, but it still warms
my heart to think of a farmer fitting each of his chickens with a pair of glasses and then tucking them in all nice and snug and bringing them a warm glass of milk.
3. If someone as stable as a turn of the century U.S. farmer seriously thought these were a good idea, then I now have some back up for all those times my boyfriend tells me I can’t have a pet just for the clothes I could make it wear. Like that time I wanted a rat so that I could put it in a mermaid costume, or the time with the falcon and the tiny hat.
4. Because this sentence exists because of it: “The practice of bespectacling one’s chickens was alive and well, at least as of 1973, when an Illinois poultry farmer was reported in Illinois’ The Hawk-Eye newspaper to have 8,000 chickens fitted with the rose-colored variety”
|Seriously, who has the patience to do this 8,000 times?
5. And because this happened:
6. It makes the chickens look like either hippie stoners, or fierce war heroes.