At the store the other day, I discovered that Cosmo now has a “Cosmo for Latinas” version of their terrible pile of glossy shit.
I bought it, because I like to get angry, and discovered that Cosmo is doing its very best to make all types of women hate themselves! I made a list of things that made me want to punch people in the taint.
1. Pretty much all the models in all of the advertisements were white. Even the ones in ads that were written in Spanish.
2. ALL THE ADS WERE WRITTEN IN SPANISH.
3. There is an article about what to do when people say you’re not “Latina Enough” for not speaking Spanish, and yet half the damn magazine is in Spanish.
4. Whenever a Spanish word is used by Cosmo, it is italicized, as if to say, “Look! We’re Latina enough! We know Spanish words! That’s what makes us a magazine for Latinas!”
5. The same useless, sexist nonsense in normal Cosmo is here too, except with a dash of racist stereotypes thrown in. For example, the standard “be more assertive at work” article is there, but it flat out says that Latina women are often martyrs, so they just need to quit that and they will get a promotion. The phrase “mejicana pleaser syndrome” is used. Gross.
6. There was a whole section glorifying/erotisicing cheating on your partner.
7. I don’t think I read the word “woman” once. It was always “mujeres.” I mean, it’s technically the same thing, it just seemed like they were trying too hard to relate to actual Latina women.
8. They abbreviate as CFL, which also what Chick-fil-a abbreviates to.
It wasn’t all bad though.
I found my new life motto.
“The world is your taco.”