So this is horribly late, but I got busy with having Peter here and a new job and finals and I’ve been sick for almost two weeks now, so maybe you can cut me a little slack.
I don’t know even know what number I was on, and I am too lazy to go look, so here’s just some things.
1. Not having to work Black Friday. I was already pretty angry, what with the people getting their shopping on on Thanksgiving, and I know I would have been good and angry if I had to deal with horrible greedy people.
2. Pumpkin pie. I’ve discovered this year that I have some kind of weird sentimental attachment to this pie. Even when I actually want something else, I still find myself getting pumpkin because I worry I will miss it when it is gone. I’m a pie clinger.
3. NyQuil. I can’t think of any other medicine that knocks me on my ass as effectively. Even codeine doesn’t do it for me as well as good ol’ NyQuil.
4. Being able to fart around my fiance. I know a lot of women never even fart around people they’ve been with for years and years, but I don’t seem to have this problem. And thank god, because I don’t think holding that in is good for you.
5. Color photographs. I’ve seen the paintings of all the women done back in the day, and every time, I feel like they look a lot like one of their parents was a barnyard animal. Even women noted for their beauty don’t come out looking so great in a painting. If I ever get famous, I don’t want some shithead high school kids looking at a painting of me and thinking I look like I am part goat.
That’s all I’ve got. I apologize. I’ll post something magical soon to make up for it, my little Schnickelfritzes.
This is because you’ve never had your portrait painted by me
If I ever get famous enough to wind up in a history book, I will DEMAND that you do the portrait.
YUSSSSSSSSSSSSS